A belated follow up to last Friday’s Moth Story Tour, at which 5 1/2 storytellers got up and spun their tales in Miami last weekend. The 1/2 was Andy Borowitz who got up, told a couple jokes that I saw him do 3 months ago at the Miami Book Fair, and then sat back down. The real story tellers included: Jonathan Ames, Boris Timanovsky, Jeffrey Rudell and Miami’s own Jim DeFede (who, unfortunately Eira and I didn’t get to see because I had to pick my brother up at the airport and this thing was out in West Bumblefuck (ie The Village of Palmetto Bay) don’t even get me started on that place, it’s a whole other post)

The performances were amazing and took me completely out of the frazzled-angry mood that the nightmare rush-hour journey to The Village had put me in and brought me to a variety of much more interesting locales…
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In case you’re like me, you might not be aware - or care - that the Superbowl is in town this weekend. The folks over the the Miami Herald reminded me of this fact with their picture of the day (above) taken at Tootsie’s Cabaret. They tout themselves as a great place to watch the game - given their 30-plus plasma screens and their 10-plus projection screens. Not to mention all the (99%) naked ladies. The wheel these girls are spinning - it’s called the Wheel of Friction. I wonder if the Herald used a little of ye olde photoshoppe effects to blur out the options, which include $100 Tootsie Dollars, $100 Gift Certificate for a Tattoo and 10 Free Drinks among others. Sounds like a good night. With or without the Superbowl. (And I’m not going through a stripper thing - it’s just a coincidence, dammit!)

Anyway, in case you are interested there are two great teams going against each other. More than likely they’re named after strong, noble animals known for attacking or charging. (Unless you’re the Dolphins, which are just cute, and can jump through rings for snacks.) More than likely the score will be overwhelmingly lopsided. More than likely, millions will get heartburn. And millions will be spent on heartburn advertising. More than likely Miami will be one giant clusterfuck - just like it is every big out-of-towner weekend - and locals will be loathe to leave their houses.

So yeah, every sports anchor with a budget is standing on the beach or in front of some Art Deco hotel, gabbing some cutesie story about all the tickets being offered or asked for on Craigslist and how not to get taken for a ride. And all the travelling members of the worlds oldest profession have surely checked into their hotels - that they will only see in daytime hours. Beer will be bought, chili will be eaten, and the strippers will keep on stripping.

I love Miami. Even on Super Bowl weekend.

For those of you who like a good story and want to see some real live professional yarn-spinners do their thing, The Moth Story Tour, featuring Andy Borowitz, Jonathan Ames and Miami’s own Jim DeFede, is coming to the Deering Estate (Palmetto Village) next Friday, February 2nd to kick off the South Bay Festival of the Arts.

I can’t speak for all of these guys but I saw Andy Borowitz at the Miami Book Fair a few months ago and the guy is not just funny and smart, but tells the kind of stories that make you feel funnier and smarter just for having heard them.

Jim DeFede, is kinda widely known as the conscience of the fourth estate in our fair city and has done a bunch to help bring to light the shadier side of Miami politics. I’ve never seen him speak but I did see him eating wings at Shucker’s one time. Just thought I’d mention it.

For those of you who can’t make it, Eira and I are hoping to attend and we’ll let you know what we think for next time they come around…

For those of you who are so excited by the idea of live storytelling that you can’t wait to throw your hat into the arena and show people what kind of story-skills you’re packing, you missed your chance to enter the Moth Stories Contest for this year, but you should check out the website which has a whole bunch of stories, including last year’s winner, so you can start practicing for next year,

And finally, for those of you who caught the Beastie Boys reference in the Title and still think that three bad brothers’ story about a horsie and a quart of beer qualifies as story-telling, here’s the Wikipedia entry on Paul Revere, which is a pretty good yarn in and of itself, you know what I’m talking about, boy.